The Dissolution of Ms Petrikov
by Tuume
Summary: The Land of Aaa tastes true despair as the few remnants of the Ice Queen's humanity wither away. Fionna and Cake are the first to feel her wrath and become just two of the few that can stand in her way.


**My first foray into Adventure Time and it's something like this. Inspiration comes in many strange forms. Read, review and enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Adventure Time or any of the characters in it. They are the property of their creators and the network that showcases them.**

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><p><strong>Nitrogen Blood<strong>

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><p><em><strong>Do you not feel some measure of shame? <strong>_

Upon her throne, The Ice Queen starts, nearly nicking herself with the ice shuriken she had been idly tumbling between her fingertips. Her mild panic recedes as she recognizes the voice. She doesn't answer; there is no need. It knows her thoughts. Instead, she resumes playing. Gunter is standing on the opposite wall with an iced over apple perched on his head. As she prepared to launch her weapon, some small, annoying, niggling part of her idly wondered if maybe Gunter would have been better off having his immortal soul torn out as fodder for Marshall Lee's Mom.

With an expert flick of the wrist, the shuriken was thrown. Gunter had just enough time to let loose a few distressed squawks before the weapon hits home.

_**The secrets of snow and ice at your beck and call, yet you are bested by a child! Repeatedly, at that! What's worse, you are formidable even without the powers that I bestow. Case in point, that "Gunter" you just played William Tell with.**_

Ice Queen snorted dismissively and shouted, "Gunter! Come in here and clean up this mess that Gunter's made!"

Immediately, "Gunter" came in through another door, and with a "wenk" set about dragging the first Gunter away by the feet. The penguin left a trail of fluid behind, which instantly froze as it made contact with the icy floors, a streak of festive pink, seemingly mocking the passing of life.

Seething with a frost so cold it seemed to burn, the Ice Queen yelled after her servants, "While you're at it, clean up this mess! What would a lovely prince staying over think if he saw a mess like that on the floor?"

"_**This hag is crazy", most likely. **_

"Silence!" The Queen's rage makes the castle vibrate with power. The ice itself brightens; it thrums with energy, brightening, dimming, like a heartbeat. From deep below a creaking can be heard as the foundations of the castle pop and stretch, small spikes of ice sprouting and jostling for room as the mistress of the snow seethes. "_I _am Queen here." Her voice is a growl, forcing its way from between clenched rows of cold needle-like teeth. "What I say is _law_. And I say that… I…" She takes the tiara from atop her head and slams it against an armrest. Flakes of shaved ice fall to the floor beside the throne. "Am" The second blow causes a crack to form. "Beautiful!" The third strike breaks the tip of the armrest clean off. The chunk of ice shatters on the floor, spreading a fine crystal mist.

Unsurprisingly, the tiara remained pristine; not a scratch was to be found marring the gold, and the jewels shone just as brightly as before. Frustrated as she was, the monarch couldn't help but feel a twinge of happy victory in her belly. The disrespectful voice had been silenced. That was all that mattered. With a flourish, the Ice Queen tosses the tiara and laughs gleefully as it lands on her head.

Ice Queen claps her hands with a smile. "Time to pay my sweet Gumball a visit! Gunter! Mommy's going out for a bit. I expect that floor to be spotless when I get back!" Cackling, she leaped out of the nearest window. Freefalling, the Ice Queen summons a storm cloud large enough to carry her and lands on it. With practiced ease, she rides the storm cloud towards the Candy Kingdom, the beginning of a massive blizzard curdling in her wake.

The winds tousled her winter white mane; the hair seemed like a mass of writhing snakes as she passed over her domain. Soon the miles of snow give way to grassy fields and vibrant flowers. As she sped by, Ice Queen spotted out of the corner of her eye she spots Fionna and Cake's tree fort. She gave a snarl and turned up her nose. Those pathetic goodie goodies wouldn't stand in her way this time; Prince Gumball was hers!

_**And what would make this time any different from the others? For all of your intelligence, your thought process is as slow as a glacier. But then again, that could just be your insanity inhibiting you… Regardless, if you don't take precautions, then you're just going to get the ever loving slush beaten out of you. Again. **_

Ice Queen cursed. The only thing worse than the tiara talking back to her was when it was making sense. That buck-toothed tomboy and the mangy cat always managed to part her and her sweet prince. She'd tried to remedy the situation by being friends, but those attempts had tanked worse than that time she had tried to give Gumball her heart. She shivered viciously at the memory of that.

_**Think! You want the Prince, and those two constantly stand in your way. The simplest solution is always the easiest; it's the break of dawn, they're still asleep and completely off their guard. So, what are you going to do, Mistress of Ice and Snow?**_

The Ice Queen's lips pulled back into a wicked smile as she circled back towards the tree fort, power gathering in her hands. The cloud sped towards the upper window of the adventurer's bedroom; Ice Queen charged her power more, icicles forming on her body as she curled into the cloud, letting it cover her. With the momentum set, the giant ice ball effortlessly shattered the window (and a good portion of the woodwork), raining glass onto its occupants.

Fionna's sleeping bag and bed furs were shredded, shards of ice and glass penetrating through the thin material. The adventuress rolled out of bed with a shout to rush towards Cake who had fallen from her drawer at the sound of crunching wood. She helped the feline to her feet, running a hand over her protectively, trading glances between her and the now immobile ice sphere that had burst in on them.

Cut and bleeding, Fionna and Cake nevertheless immediately took action; Cake jumped at the ball of ice with elongated claws, hoping to claw her way to the center while Fionna took up her crystal blade and began to do the same.

Swinging wildly, Fionna grunted out, "What the _decimal_, Ice Queen? I know you're crazy, but attacking us in our _home_?" The Ice Queen's response was an ice spike that would have hit the adventuress square between the eyes had she not ducked; Cake's tail and paws lost more than a few hairs as more popped from the crazed monarch's protective shield.

From within the ice a cackle came. "Dance, you little tomboy, dance!"

With a grunt the Ice Queen unfurled herself. Her ice sphere exploded. Everything was consumed by endless white.

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><p><em><strong>Impressive. <strong>_

If one had an appreciation for destruction, then the scene before the Ice Queen would be considered quite impressive, perhaps even beautiful.

The entire fort had been blown completely off of its foundation. Nothing remained save splintered planks and other pieces of iced wood here and there. Piping had burst and sprayed water that had now become a macabre sort of ice sculpture of cresting waves; the frozen water shined like crystal in the sun. The contents of the treasure room had been blown out as well; they added to the glow of the ice when the sun hit. The area around the fort was covered in hard snow; a miniature frozen wasteland that, oddly enough, was not so dissimilar to the Ice Queen's own domain. It could have done without the clothes, kitchen utensils, bathroom and lighting fixtures and other assorted pleasantries flung about from the blast.

The Ice Queen's gaze drifted towards the center of the battle. Wisps of blue breath trickled from between her needle teeth as she breathed in triumph.

Trapped inside an enormous pillar of ice slept the once heroines of Aaa. They were an icy still life portrait; forever frozen in their last moments of freedom. Cake was bloated to a massive size, curling around Fionna in an attempt to shield the young girl from the Ice Queen's attack. The heroine herself-a fighter to the end-still grasped tightly to her sword, the blade at the ready to strike even as her lower half and much of her back was engulfed by Cake's fur.

"Heh. Lookit, a snow bunny!" A quick flap of her eyebrows brings her level with the frozen heroines; she mostly only used the clouds for speedy and exciting entrances. She formed an ice dagger and tapped the pillar. "Get it? Snow bunny? Forget it. You were never one to recognize quality anyway. Why else would you tail after my Gumball like a puppy after a good piece of meat? Why would he want a girl like you when he could have a _woman _like _me_? Huh? Answer me you bucktooth-"

_**You would be wise to stop chatting it up with the popsicles and actually finish them. The Grasslands really heat up towards noon. After what you've done to them this time, do you truly want them to thaw out?**_

The Ice Queen ceased stabbing the dagger into the pillar and screaming. She rolled the tiara's words around in her skull, icy blue blood like liquid nitrogen seeping from where she had pierced her lip during her rambling. "No. I won't kill them here; that would be a mercy. I'll keep these two in the deep freeze for now. But mark my words: They'll see just how cold I can truly be."


End file.
